Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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