I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
