summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
