the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
