It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
