I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
