I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
So squirting runs in the family.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
