so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
this will be a night to untag.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
