Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
