I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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