hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
