He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
