Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
