new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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