i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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