We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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