Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Say something about gay babies.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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