Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
