I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
