Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize