Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
