Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She's the barista slut.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
