there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The beer is more important than you right now.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
