We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
