So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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