there's paper in my vomit.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
