She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I think people are normalizing furries
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
