I'm lost and stupid without you.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
