dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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