He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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