why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
