Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
