She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
no you cant smoke seaweed
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
