are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
