I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
