if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize