It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize