ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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