Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Dignity is for republicans.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
