No awkward lesbian experiences without me
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Someone came in the potted fern
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
