sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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