Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
