How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
