His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Nobody cheats on THIS.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
