We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
FUCK WHALES
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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