I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
