The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
