So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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