Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
