I bet he comes in French.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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