Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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