You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
