I think i sorta joined a cult last night
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize