He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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