Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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