people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
