I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize